real talk: when healing begins without you realizing it

a slow girl summer

Years ago I started a Happy project for Mental Health Awareness month. My goal that May was to find mini moments of joy every day for a full month. I was coming out of a depression and trying to find light again. It worked… then I shared it on Instagram, and I got obsessed with how my photos looked. The project lost its essence.

This time, I did it by accident.

After four days of crying nonstop between mom-lifeing, I took my Sunday off of parenting to see if I could have a slow girl summer day. I went to pilates. I walked around waiting for the farmer’s market to open. I talked to a friend. I bought food to nourish my soul. I went to HomeGoods to return some memories and aimlessly wandered through all the fruit-printed summer decor I didn’t need… but of course had to get (just a few).

I still knocked things off my to-do list (you can’t turn off type A overnight). But I let myself slowly get shit done.

And ever since then I’ve been noticing more.

• Sunday: a magenta flower so delicate it looks like paper. Has it always been here? There’s more flowers. I’ve never seen these before.

• Monday: Preston watches me intensely as I eat my pasta. Then he spears his noodles the same way, looks up at me, and smiles.

• Tuesday: a bird on the fence. Brown, no different than the others… but then it flies. Blue wings brighten the June Gloom day.

I still can’t catch my breath. My chest has been tight for months. And a little over a week ago, just as I thought my nervous system was about to catch a break, I was thrown a curveball.